Tend the Sparks Consulting

the ex-editor gets edits

I have spent at least 10 years learning not to be attached to anything I write in the workplace. I’ve gotten good at receiving and incorporating constructive feedback. Often the extra fun kind with 5 editors who have notes that conflict with each other. It’s liberating not to take any of it personally.

That’s never felt difficult because 1) almost all of the feedback results in a better product and makes me a better writer and 2) it used to be my job to write stories that aligned with the strategies of organizations I worked for, not to write in my own voice. Later it was my job to help create those strategies, edit the work of others, and generally make us all look good, so I did my best to. When I did write, I did not have as many candid reviewers as I did in the years before I became a manager. Power dynamics and time deficits in an organization have that effect.

After years of being happily detached from my writing, I got a little anxious last week about sharing a piece with a mix of friends. It felt important that something of me came across and I needed to test this on reviewers who know me well. It was personal: for the first time I can remember (this blog aside), it was in my own voice and not on anyone else’s behalf. I didn’t just want their help making it more effective for its purpose, I wanted them to like it. That was new to me.

I admit I had forgotten the feeling of being a beginner in this way. I can’t tell you how refreshing it was to receive feedback from everyone. It was super helpful and such a relief that they noticed things I couldn’t see because I was too close to it. It was nice to get the support I spent years giving to others. The thing I’m writing needs more work to get it to “sharable enough,” and I’m glad, because now it will be a lot better.

Why does the saying “eating humble pie” have a negative connotation? Pie is great. Humility is a good thing. There would be no pie if we didn’t try new things and invite people to help us. My ego has definitely rolled her eyes at me a few times as I’ve put myself out there this week, but she’s stayed in the backseat with her mouth shut. Luckily for me, she is smart enough to prefer pie to driving.

Anyway, writing this post today, and this blog in general, is a continued exercise in not taking myself too seriously. It feels good to give myself a place where I don’t nit-pick in all the ways I used to get paid to. Just as importantly, it’s part of my demonstration to y’all that, while I know many helpful things and am good at what I do, I am still a person (i.e., imperfect).

I’ve never felt able to fully trust and respect a leader/teacher the way I’d like if they don’t own up to that and walk their own talk. That goes for myself, too, as a consultant, facilitator, and coach. This ex-editor definitely needs an editor, and my friends, peers, and mentors help keep me sharp. Bring on the pie!

-Cheyenne

photo: homemade vegan key lime pie